Bookish Buddy Gifts

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

'Take it from me - after all, I'm in the second grade - learning is a slow, slow process.'

Slow down!

"Everybody wants to meet the author, but nobody wants to read the book."

"I decided to self-publish."

"School is loverly this time of year."

"Me, my eyesight is rather bad, so I prefer audio-books..."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Sue the Author 3PM

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"You have issues? Be more specific, what issues?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"Dad, I checked a book out at the library...can you read it with me?"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

Library

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'Oooh. By Emily Bronte. A very controversial book...Cruelty! Passion! Death! Risky territory for a woman author in the 1800s.'

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

"You'll never believe who's here."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

Henry James

The discovery of a 51st shade of grey was met with mixed reviews.

I love how this writer revels in romantic passion. And defends challenging boyfriends. She embraces passion even if hearts are broken. She got my heart racing! How was your book? Boring. You wouldn't like it.

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

"Hello, police? I appear to have killed my husband with chapters 24 of 50 Shades of Grey..."

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

J.B. Priestley.

"My lifestyle is empty and meaningless."