Bookish Soulmate Gifts

"Arthur and I both like books with unreliable narrators. The problem is that he only reads nonfiction."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Do it yourself books.

The practical psychopath

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'Out, damned Spot.'

"When you look at me, Alice, what do you see?"

Tree Funeral

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Old Book Smell

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

'My blog has been favourited over half a million times but still no book deal!'

K9 Literati.

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Good book?'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

John Galsworthy

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

When love is blind.

"School is loverly this time of year."

'It's okay dear. He's my ghostwriter.'

Samuel Beckett

My youthful jacket blurb writing showed such excitement, he thought with a sigh.

Fairy narratives

Dolphin tries to 'look inside' a book about Dolphin Tails