Bookish Flirt Gifts

Library Dating.

'He likes his books... unputdownable.'

"Just browsing thanks."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Call me, Ishmael."

Litteratti K9s.

'Do you come here often?'

'If you're using this for research into your next book then you can sleep in the spare room!'

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

Will Self deprecation

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

"Wanna go out?"

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

DATING FOR NON-DUMMIES

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

William Blake.

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

Where's the last chapter? It's not finished yet. It's where the writer sleeps with the publisher after he agrees to publish her novel.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

Academics at the Beach: "Camus might agree with you. De Beauvoir? Maybe. But Sartre? Never."

Michel De Montaigne is quotes as saying the following...

"School is loverly this time of year."

'It's okay dear. He's my ghostwriter.'

Book in library - 'Crash tests for dummies' (being read by a crash test dummy).

Fairy narratives

"I wish I'd never taught him to read - now he takes forever to go to the bathroom."

"By the way, what's your position on some-sex marriage?"

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"I decided to self-publish."

"Everybody wants to meet the author, but nobody wants to read the book."

"She's always got her nose in a book."

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

'If you can't afford representation, the court will appoint a lawyer and a book agent.'