Bookish Comedian Pillows

Required seventh grade reading list

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Kultural K9's.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

'Hard to follow...'

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

Medical Books - Lady Chatterley's Liver

'Bront?saurus.'

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"Call me Ishmael."

Book Worm