Book Humorist Pillows

"You wanna read 'Dune' or 'the Sheikh'?"

Moby Butt

A Farewell to Arms

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

Idiots guide to being an idiot.

"My book is actually about 12th century Etruscan pottery but I thought it might sell better if I aimed it at the children's market."

Jane Eyre Force One

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

"Puss in cement boots"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Kultural K9's.

'Hard to follow...'

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

Earl suspends his disbelief.

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art though, Romeo? Seriously, wherefore art thou? Shakespeare in the Dark.