Bookish Bloodsucker Gifts

'You're going to ruin your eyes in this light!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

'Hard to follow...'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

Cook in the cookery section.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Book Worm

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

N't. Dear, we're commas. Get down here before you get hurt.

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

John Galsworthy

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

Larry's Literary Market.

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

William Blake.

Pathology.

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"