Bookish Bloodsucker T-Shirts

'You're going to ruin your eyes in this light!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

Cook in the cookery section.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

Book Worm

Man read's Newton's 'Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Mathematica' and says: 'Blimey Isaac, this is, er, pretty heavy stuff.'

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

John Galsworthy

"This medical dictionary has had it's appendix taken out. . . !"

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Meet The Ghostwriter

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Larry's Literary Market.

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"As your first novel, it starts out badly and just falls away!"

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

William Blake.

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Pathology.

'Enforcing the publish or perish rule, Dean McWit?'