Book Skeptic Pillows

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Well did he?"

Why do you hate the media?

"God works in mysterious ways."

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Classic News.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

"Climate change is not real. It's fake climate!"

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

The following story is based on actual events.

"Now remember...no lies about the government...only lies from the government."

No Unknown Unknowns

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

'Studies show that most boys my age don't like to read. Who am I to tamper with statistics?'

These networks are definitely treating news as entertainment, but I'm not sure if they're going for drama or comedy.

"Paparazzi!"

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

"And they lived happily ever-after? Well, maybe you should find out who their financial advisor is."

'...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys don't really have a gun...no this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant...'

"When I die, I want to come back at anything except a book of short stories."

Summertime Blues

'The story you are about to see is as true as most of the stuff you get on televison these days....'

"What do the know!"

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"