Biblical Skeptic Pillows

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

"The 'F' in 'Bible' stands for facts."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Well HERE'S some good news...Judgement Day has been replaced by a multiple choice questionnaire.

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"I've got writer's block."

"You call this a constitution?"

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Can I download that as a PDF?'

"What did Jesus order?"

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

King Solomon's Pollster.

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Please take your receipt!'

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."