Book Lovers With A Mischievous Streak Pillows

'It's been cut all right. Question anyone in the family who likes to read.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Do it yourself books.

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'He was a great writer'

Tequila Mockingbird

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

Tree Funeral

So You've Cloned Yourself

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

Giant to librarian: 'Excuse me, do you have a large print version?'

The Month of August

'Good book?'

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

The Farmer Sutra.

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Dear, when was the last time you just winged it?"

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

The pop-up book of fighters

Possible Titles For My Upcoming Autobiography

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"I was able to get you a 2-book deal."

Erasmus

'I stole it from the library.'

'I'm afraid you're a little late for the book signing, Mr. Dickens.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."