Book Buffs With A Twist Pillows

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Audio Books

Do it yourself books.

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Moby Dick

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

Myths and legends...

Fifty shades of Leveson.

Tree Funeral

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

So You've Cloned Yourself

'It was a dark and stormy night. Also, there was a Catch-22.'

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

"We thought about a restaurant and decided we were more of a bookstore."

"Yup, looks like your bookcase is full. You might want to start thinking about getting a new one."

The Month of August

K9 Authors.

'I read it and threw it into the river.'

'Good book?'

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

RETURN BOOKS HERE, 'I'm sorry, sir -- all our books on Houdini have disappeared.'

"Each of my previous books had nine editions."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"These printers can be pretty self-righteous when they present their bills."

"Today we learn all about books. Does everyone have their tablets?"

"It's a stream of consciousness novel like 'Ulysses' I just sort of sat down and wrote it without even thinking of a plot have you had drink I', going to get a seat where do you come from it's hot in here I like blue do you like blue..."

Science vs. Literature, an Eternal Battle.