Book Burner (ironically) Gifts

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

Book signing The Art Of Forgery - "Gee thanks, Oprah Winfrey."

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

"I was quite a successful writer once...what sort of books are you interested in?"

"I've come to judge some books by their cover."

'It's repetitive motion injury for throwing the book at people.'

"The health care provider will see you now."

"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but TV Guides bound in Corinthian leather?'

Down with leather bookbinding. Read paperbacks.

'Fred insists on giving something up for Lent!'

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

Cat Reads 'Natural Food'.

'Great Books' 'Good Books' 'Trash'

Book about the real meaning of Christmas is on sale.

"They're little notes he keeps leaving me on how to best utilise my housekeeping time."

Publisher to book writer holding up 'Get on Oprah' sign: 'So that's the extent of your marketing plan?'

"Play around with these figures, Harry. I've given you the total I want them to add up to."

"I haven't burned this many calories since I forgot the brownies in the oven."

American History/Poetry/Biography.

"You don't want to end up in my bad books do you young man?"

'Dumming it Down for Dummies' Book.

This Time... Rhett Gets The Picture

"Good morning - may I book an eye test..?"