Book Boss Gifts

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Golfing Boss

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Working hours.

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Sign - Halt manager crossing