Book Bashers Anonymous Pillows

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

"Psst! Hey, kids."

Next Wave Collegiate Sports

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."

'We lost your case, but the PR was a success. Three publishers are bidding on your story, and 30 PTAs are petitioning to have the book banned.'

"Bill and I hate the same books."

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

Reading

Banned Books

'I didn't read your book, or see the movie, but my mother-in-law told me all about it!'

"Hahaha! What's wrong Dorky Nerdmire? That's your name isn't it?"

"Oh yeah? Well we ban books from schools in this country too. . . like the Bible!"

"Mmm, smell this one."

"I'm confused now. Was Shakespeare somebody else or was somebody else Shakespeare?"

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

'We'll need a supreme court or something to interpret these.'

'If Miss Stabler had meant for me to read, she wouldn't have told me to have a nice summer.'

'After sixteen commercials I've forgotten what film we were watching.'

"Dammit, Trevor! Just say 'Please' so we can get outta here!"

'In these parts we don't take kindly to people who... read.'

Librarian finds man smoking hidden on bookshelf.