Book Banter Pillows

"Oh yeah? Well we ban books from schools in this country too. . . like the Bible!"

"You're going to hate yourself."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

The Farmer Sutra.

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

Heart To Heart

Will Self deprecation

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

"I'm getting real sick of picking up your laundry, Adam."

'I didn't read your book, or see the movie, but my mother-in-law told me all about it!'

'I'd like to exchange these cola can tokens for a book on hyperactivity.'

'I turned wine into water.'

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

"Do you have any immature reading?"

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

'Let's say we spent the summer devouring literature. We ate alphabet soup, didn't we?'

"I felt the Earth Move!"

I need advice and if you ever tall anyone I asked, you're dead. Go ahead. People aren't taking me seriously. When I insult them, they don't seem that bothered. They don't cry or run away like they used to. C'mon, you're plenty offensive. Don't patronize me you @#$% meathead. Wow. Didn't bother me a bit.

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

"It says here 'No man is an island'. What about the Isle of Man?"

"And the first question is. . . What the f**k are you looking at. . ??"

"It's not what you think. I'm from South Dakota."

Brunette girlfriend " I quite like your beard. You are only half as ugly now."

"There's nothing I like more than to curl up with a good book."

Staff Picks. Please Note: We are probably going to fire Brian