Bottle Banter Pillows

'...and what are these screw tops all about, wine should have a proper cork, and the prices...who do they think they're kidding.'

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Wine Talking

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

Desert Island Dating.

Wino Appreciation Group

'It's for you.'

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

You're bottling things up, aren't you?

'You have a friend request.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

'You've had enough!'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"I'm not whining."

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

Beer companies merge.

"I've got sea mail."

'There is no more beach due to the phenomenal success of our beach in a bottle souvenir.'

"Stock photo, right?"

"If I'd wanted to taste strawberries and summer fruits I'd have asked for fruit squash."