Bottle Banter Pillows

'...and what are these screw tops all about, wine should have a proper cork, and the prices...who do they think they're kidding.'

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

Wino Appreciation Group

'It's for you.'

Wine Talking

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

Desert Island Dating.

Watch overhead if you want to improve product delivery. Bridge financing could figure.

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

You're bottling things up, aren't you?

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

'You have a friend request.'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"I'm not whining."

"I'd say my favourite wine is the sixth one."

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

'You've had enough!'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Look at the size of that file. It probably took a long time to get here without using Dropbox."

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

Beer companies merge.

"I've got sea mail."

'There is no more beach due to the phenomenal success of our beach in a bottle souvenir.'