Book Banter Gifts

"Oh yeah? Well we ban books from schools in this country too. . . like the Bible!"

"You're going to hate yourself."

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Will Self deprecation

"You'd like a book by Shakespeare? Certainly sir - which one. . .?"

The Farmer Sutra.

Heart To Heart

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Edwina momentarily considered sarcasm. . .

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

"I'm getting real sick of picking up your laundry, Adam."

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

'I didn't read your book, or see the movie, but my mother-in-law told me all about it!'

'I'd like to exchange these cola can tokens for a book on hyperactivity.'

"We've decided to settle our of quart."

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

"Do you have any immature reading?"

'Let's say we spent the summer devouring literature. We ate alphabet soup, didn't we?'

"I felt the Earth Move!"

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

"It's not what you think. I'm from South Dakota."

"It says here 'No man is an island'. What about the Isle of Man?"

"And the first question is. . . What the f**k are you looking at. . ??"

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

Brunette girlfriend " I quite like your beard. You are only half as ugly now."

"There's nothing I like more than to curl up with a good book."

Staff Picks. Please Note: We are probably going to fire Brian

'...and what are these screw tops all about, wine should have a proper cork, and the prices...who do they think they're kidding.'