Bookworm Banter Gifts

"She's promiscuous. She's in five book groups."

Don't get all excited, Mort. Canada or Bust!* Your e-reader announced the title of the book you're reading. *Tinyurl.comidbellbooks. That was my idea. I gave you that idea. You dismissed me. And now you've stolen the idea! Okay, fine. So. You had a basic idea. But I brought it to life with the Yodel. Haven't you seen The Social Network? What? I'm like Zuckerburg. You're like the not prospective billionaires in the movie. Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. Shut up, book!

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

'Let's say we spent the summer devouring literature. We ate alphabet soup, didn't we?'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Eternal Student.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

The DaVinci Code

Edgar Allen Poe

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

The Bookworm

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

Honoré de Balzac

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Blue Stockings

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

No-Work Orange

Television Readers.

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

Jean-Paul Sartre