Book Author Gifts

'Celebrity autobiography editing'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Edgar Allen Poe

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Thomas Mann.

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"Meet the author"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."