Boob Job Enhancement Pillows

'There are plenty of fish in the sea and I just got myself some fresh bait!'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"I see a beautiful future ahead for you in the private sector."

Hip hop Santa.

"Oh no, Doris. . . not implants!"

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

HOLLYPLASTIC

"Breast implants, filler and botox for your missus doesn't fulfill our home improvements criteria."

"Stock photo, right?"

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

"Supersize me."

'She's had so much plastic surgery that her body has rejected her credit cards!'

"The gentleman opposite would like to buy you more time."

"Cosmetic dentistry changed my life."

Breast Implants: 'Watch this Space.'

Rhonda was over the moon with the results of her first-ever face-lift.

'Well, what seems to be the problem?'

'If you have any problems with the nose job, take two selfies and send them in the morning.'

Medical Silicon Paste.

A little powder and a little paint makes a girl what she ain't!

"Do you ever regret having breast implants when you were younger?"

Two cows are admiring a female cow that has an extra udder - 'Hey Colin... check out Barbara's awesome moob job!'

'I'm tagging some unflattering photos of friends, so my tagged photos don't look quite so bad.'

"So you went ahead with the facelift?"

"When I actually was this age, I didn't have much facial expression anyway."

Botox injections

"Like my dazzling smile? My teeth are capped with LEDs."

"You don't have to make a decision on a butt lift today, go home and sleep on it."

Vinnie's Tanning Salon.

'Don't tell me she hasn't had plastic surgery!'

'You're foreman at a lumber yard. I wish you wouldn't tell people you're chairman of the boards.'