Bonus Jesters Pillows

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"I hate performance review season."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Rodins rotten juggler

"Any other skills?"

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

Pumping up wig in blender.

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

Vat Nav

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

'I've just had a terrible nightmare that we were living sensibly, within our budget!'

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

Looking for a cool cat.

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

'I ran with them once.'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

"I'll have my people call your people."

Work/Life Balance.

No carbon emissions were realised in the production of my bonus and perks.

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

Don't be such a poor loser. You knew this would happen when you lost the Flopsies account !

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

'It will interest you to learn that your bank denied my credit application for reasons of character.'

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

'Uh-oh, here comes my wife. Just act natural.'