Bonus Jesters T-Shirts

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"I hate performance review season."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"And that, gentlemen, is the Friday 4.55 pm Bad News Email Dump."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

Clancy: Extending Overdrafts

"Any other skills?"

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

Rodins rotten juggler

Pumping up wig in blender.

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

"Sir, Sparky is here for his 3:00 pm throw."

Vat Nav

'I've just had a terrible nightmare that we were living sensibly, within our budget!'

'Could this mean that we're finally profitable?'

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

Looking for a cool cat.

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

'I ran with them once.'

'How do you like this one?...Inflatable dart board.'

"I'll have my people call your people."

Work/Life Balance.

Look, Mom! He dropped this! He must be just like me, always coming home with just one mitten!

No carbon emissions were realised in the production of my bonus and perks.

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

Don't be such a poor loser. You knew this would happen when you lost the Flopsies account !

"Every Christmas you make a lot of primises you never keep, why don't you become a politian."

£150,000 Per Annum - Daydreaming again, Foster?

'Uh-oh, here comes my wife. Just act natural.'

'What with Obama and all his giveaways, I'm surprised you're still in business.'

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'