Bold Santas Pillows

"I'll be doing my deliveries naked this year, Mrs. Claus!!"

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"Maybe this year..."

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

"Who do we know who wears lilac corduroys?"

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

'Don't think my knees can take much more of this Santa's grotto job...'

"We all see it. We all see it. . ."

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

"You can't possibly have winter cabin fever! Winter just officially started a couple days ago."

"Now, that's what I call a fashion statement!"

'I'm gonna have to change my hair. My parents love it.'

The Bi-Polar Express.

Santa Yoga

"Hold on fellas! It looks they're in need of my expertise."

'Santa Clause would never of fitted through that fireplace, so I've widened it.'

'Father Christmas regrets to inform you that your application for presents has been unsuccessful on this occasion.'

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

Man claims to be a good swimmer so lady asks him to jump in the river and fetch a flower

Santa sits in the waiting room of a Weight Loss Clinic with other large people.

'I think it has something to do with global warming.'

"Watch out. He's got the Naughty or Nice app."

Countless cookies and glasses of milk don't mix well with Toledo turbulence!"

Resistance.

Hairdressing for Bald People

"Good mercy, can we have some sort of Santa Helper standards around here please?"

Cranston called in sick ... said he's got the 'Bah, Humbug'.'