Bold Santas Pillows

"I'll be doing my deliveries naked this year, Mrs. Claus!!"

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

"Maybe this year..."

Mall Santa's Anonymous: 'Holidays are always the hardest - especially Christmas.'

'No. 5, please step forward, open your coat, and say, 'ho, ho, ho.''

"We all see it. We all see it. . ."

"But, can he support you on what a store santa makes working one month a year?"

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

'Don't think my knees can take much more of this Santa's grotto job...'

"Who do we know who wears lilac corduroys?"

"Now, that's what I call a fashion statement!"

"You can't possibly have winter cabin fever! Winter just officially started a couple days ago."

'I'm gonna have to change my hair. My parents love it.'

The Bi-Polar Express.

Santa Yoga

"Watch out. He's got the Naughty or Nice app."

'...Santa delivers to Yorkshire first...everybody else has to wait because they're not as good.'

Countless cookies and glasses of milk don't mix well with Toledo turbulence!"

"Hold on fellas! It looks they're in need of my expertise."

'Father Christmas regrets to inform you that your application for presents has been unsuccessful on this occasion.'

Resistance.

'I think it has something to do with global warming.'

'Santa Clause would never of fitted through that fireplace, so I've widened it.'

Santa sits in the waiting room of a Weight Loss Clinic with other large people.

Man claims to be a good swimmer so lady asks him to jump in the river and fetch a flower

Hairdressing for Bald People

Cranston called in sick ... said he's got the 'Bah, Humbug'.'

"Good mercy, can we have some sort of Santa Helper standards around here please?"

"As a leader of Santa's sleigh, he's still having a problem navigating through all the drones."