Body Shop Technician T-Shirts

'You don't seem to like your new sunroof.'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Early cyborg.

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"Take me to your mechanic."

The Not-So Smart Meter

Congratulations on your retirement!

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

STRIP Hambone: Early diesel run computer

High speed cinder block

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Battery Lighthouse

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"And this is one of our most poular models..."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'Imagine if it was this simple to upgrade our staff.'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'