Auto Technician T-Shirts

'It's broke. I could fix it, but then you'd be broke.'

'Drat! I better take her in. The check engine light just went off.'

'Seems the onboard computer analyzed your driving patterns and determined it was best for all not to start the engine.'

"I didn't ignore the check engine light. I kept checking the engine and it was right there!"

'It's four years old and every time I got a letter of recall, I removed that part and sent it to the factory.'

'Well, THERE'S your problem.'

'It's $900 to fix the brakes ...or $10 to make the horn louder.'

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

'First of all, it didn't malfunction, it broke. Never waste a $20 word on a $2 car.'

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

'Whoever 'pre-owned' your car pre-wore it out.'

'I certainly hope it doesn't take me as long to pay the bill as it did for you to get the part.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

'So...do you have any parts for a Classically trained Shakespearian actor?'

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'No-Freaking-Idea-Speak.'

Mechanics price list.

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

'Your radiator is leaking. Don't worry, I can patch it up with stem cells.'

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

Snow Tire Sale: We Skid You Not

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Mechanic's workshop.

'Wheel technical support line.'

On his first day at the garage Trevor was sent out to buy a 'girlie calendar'.

Regular servicing protects your warranty, and your family from psycho mechanics.

'Hell, no, I don't need the tires rotated! I did that myself on the drive over here!'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

'All this car needs is a little love and affection.'

'Now the deeply-troubled expression, stroke your chin...good...'

'I couldn't fix the brakes, so I made your horn louder.'

DIY motor repairs.