Body Modification Buffs Gifts

"Mirror, mirror on the wall ... Where did that nose ring come from?!"

'Her and her silicone implants!'

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'Very funny!'

'I'd say the nerve pain you're having in your jaw is due to an arrow through it, but perhaps you'd like to get a 2nd opinion from a dentist.'

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

The Coffee Tattoo

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

Angel with a halo nose piercing.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"Phil, you've done a terrific job of reinventing yourself...but we see here you're still just patent pending."

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

'You never had it so good! Just wait! You'll come crawling back to me!'

'It's true, we make loans on art, but your tattoos don't count.'

"There's a tattoo here that wants to have its person removed."

"Mr. Van Gogh's mother let him cut off his whole ear, and you won't even let me get mine pierced."

'It just seems like everyone that I get close to goes into their own cocoon..Doctor?..'

'Sorry I'm late - my wife's tongue stud got snagged on my nipple ring.'

'So now he has some of your genes. Happy?'

'You know, you shouldn't make the evolutionary jump from water to land until an hour after you eat.'

Date Becomes Wolf

The First Modular Phone Implant Garners Envious Looks Along Fifth Avenue.

Frankenstein's Monster gets a tattoo

Caterpillar to butterfly: 'I didn't recognize you after your extreme makeover.'

The perils of boob jobs.

"Lots of people will lose their jobs to robots, but I don't think they can ever replace us!"

Author who wants his novel pierced.