Body Image Philosopher Pillows

"You'd be pretty if you'd just lose some height."

'Do they make me look thinner?'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

wattle covers

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Aging Problems

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Too Skinny, Too Fat

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

"Hey, great ab!"

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

'It wouldn't be so bad if they were pert and perky.'

All dressing rooms now have dimmer switches