Body Image Philosopher T-Shirts

"You'd be pretty if you'd just lose some height."

'Do they make me look thinner?'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

wattle covers

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"That's a big fat lie!"

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Aging Problems

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You can't handle the truth.' - Scene from 'Do these pants make me look fat' starring Jack Nioholson

"Hey, great ab!"

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

'I think my dieting may be getting out of hand.'

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

Woman leaves cosmetic surgery as her waste skin is dumped in skip.

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'

'I'm hoping for a heat wave - I could afford to lose a few pounds.'