Body Image Contemplator Gifts

"The vanity mirror makes me look fat."

It's not that wrinkly...what the hell are you doing? This is pathetic...

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

wattle covers

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"That's a big fat lie!"

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Aging Problems

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Too Skinny, Too Fat

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"I can't have anything that's a food."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Obese man using a exercise machine. His false teeth are flying out.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

Me when by BDD shows up

"It isn't fair! Why aren't thin lips fashionable?"

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"Does this dress make my butt look big?"

"You're really serious about that diet!"

'You know that thin person inside you, struggling to get out? -- He seems to have gained weight, too.'

"Hey, great ab!"

'I envy your metabolism.'

'I hate her...'