Body Image Awareness Advocate Gifts

"I always feel fat when we play in Los Angeles."

'Tell me the truth...does this dead body make me look fat?'

I'll take it!

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Critisize your weight.

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

wattle covers

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

Aging Problems

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Fat fairy

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Scales

Girl's weight issues.

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"I can't have anything that's a food."