Body Confidence Gifts

"If only legginess were based on circumference."

"Does this swimsuit make me look fat?"

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'There was no more putting it off; breast reduction time.'

Middle aged woman without bra.

"My mistake. I must have had you on the Beach Ball Body program."

I heart my bum.

"I find basic black to be a very slimming color."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Busy man, busy life, busy shirt.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Critisize your weight.

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

wattle covers

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'This resume is incredible. Would you be able to lie this well under pressure?'

Fat fairy

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Girl's weight issues.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."