Body Comedy Fan Gifts

"Check it out! Chest hair!"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

'He's maturing early.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

Health

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Pollyanna, the Hamster

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

Accident-Prone Support Group.

"So where do you see this relationship going?"

"Previously on..."

Alan Davies.

The Heirs

John Cleese

Weapons of mass destruction.

"We Don't Need Men. We Can Lick Our Own Vaginas"

'Silicone implant ward.'

You're on, caller. What's your problem? How do I get rid of a tenant so I can charge more rent? I get that question all the time. First, find out if your property is rent-controlled. If it is, go back in time to the moment you decided to rent it out and slap yourself. You have no business being a landlord, you greedy #%$*! What kind of music did the army use to get Noriega to leave Panama?

"How thoughtful of them to have removed their heads!"

Unserious conditions: Bart shaped bruise, Multiple banana wounds, Radioactive buttocks.

How a Service Lift Works.

Sorry I missed you.

Botox secretary.

"Officer, wrong number."

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Mime Fights: 'I think you broke my jaw!"

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

"Knock 'em dead."

"Look, Grim, I'm really sorry. It's not you, it's me ... well, it's mostly you, like 85/15 ..."

"Don't pretend to shoot me, I'll pretend to give you my wallet!"

"Now, just for fun. Kick it!"

"We gots worms."

'The idea is to make food itself my motive to shape up.'