Body Appreciate Gifts

"I realized that she'd never overcome her shyness, so I had to let her go."

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

Rating the Sunset

"Me, a footballer. . ?"

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'He's got your tattoos.'

'What a view! The motivational poster doesn't do it justice.'

'Makeup? This is a tattoo.'

Young woman shows off her tattoos.

"Alright, I'll talk. Just please, stop with the good-cop, ab-cop routine."

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

"... And precisely how long have you been reading underground comix?"

The Children's Hospital

"This is all my own hair."

'Okay people - let's roll up our sleeves and get to work. Those with offensive tattoos, just get to work.'

Tattoo Parlour Could you do me something in this season's colours

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"How long before I have a dad body?"

'Why do you want an earring? You can't even see it!'

"Your mother's going to be up there all day, kids. One of her students said her class meant everything to her!"

'Now don't complain Mum: You started it by giving me my first nose-ring...'

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

QR tattoo.

'This one's my lawyer and this one's my accountant. I've got one of my stockbroker, too, but I can't show that one in public.'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

Man asking for just a small tattoo from a tattooed tribe.

"I told him he's going to regret it, but what can I do? He's eighteen now."

'You and your aversion to needles!'

'It's the least I can do. I don't have enough money to get cloned.'

"I can take or leave my nose ring, but it does seem to improve wifi reception."

Old man mistakes tattoos for exhibit in art museum.

'I can't believe I'm actually talking to a famous tattoo model.'

The dragon with the 'girlie' tattoo.

"We Don't Need Men. We Can Lick Our Own Vaginas"