Boat Security Specialist Gifts

"It's not what you think. It's our new security system."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"I see you've security marked your property."

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Privacy Conference Security

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

AI Safety Officer

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"The club scene is really changing."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Private Viewing

Pole Star

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

'I did not say there was a miss in the motor, I said the motor was missing.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"I think that's one of those annoying flying drones we've been hearing about!"

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"International trade"

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

Sign on Secret Service door: Could be out to lunch.