Boardroom Maestros Gifts

UBLIC RELATIONS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'You myst blow at least a 2.3 on the 'drunk with power' breathalizer before they'll promote you to upper management.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

'At that point the meeting became chaotic, as everyone's medication seemed to wear off at the same time.'

'I brought Simmons here on board to use his powers of levitation on our customer intelligence.'

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

Our parent company is not pleased with our work. They want all of us to register for a few remedial MBA courses.

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Drop dead. Well that's good start to our negotiations.'

'I'm sure you all agree that this has been a very constructive meeting.'

'Does anyone have a question?'

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"It got so bad that had to bring Jones in to turn things around."

Paul exhibits a classic symptom of Attention-Surplus Disorder.

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

Butterfly Sales

'This associate has a first rate mind...and a third rate suit.'

"Before I continue past my opening joke, I want to know if she is laughing or crying."

'Benson will you stop trying to dominate the meeting.'