Boardroom Irony Fan Gifts

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

Water company bonus.

'Don't laugh Ms. Newborn, but I want you to proof this for 'accuracy'.'

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'We're a democracy here, as long as everyone votes in favour of what I want!'

'Well, your guess is as good as mine. Almost.'

"However, we're doing rather well, according to uninformed sources."

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

'Massive unpredictability is absolutely certain, maybe.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"I need to know that everyone is prepared to play ball with this one."

'He always has your back - - - but it's mostly to step on.'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

"You must admit, so far we've done pretty well for not yet having a product line."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'I want to thank you for your spontaneous and overwhelming support...'

We only have two things to fear - fear itself and someone getting a look at our books.

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

"Wait a minute! I don’t ignore the concerns of my employees! I listen to them, I discuss with them... and then I ignore them."