Boardroom Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'I see you have no life.. we like that in an employee.'

'Third quarter profits are down 3%, but we're expecting a rise in - Johnson! For the last time, stop trying to pick my nose!'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Yes, I'm an honoured CEO. There's my 'Worst Bankruptcy With The Most Ruined Small Investors' award.'

"Ah, Miss Frimley! It must be salary review time again!"

"Ron, please give me your opinion of my letter to the shareholders, vis-a-vis readability, credibility and indictability!"

"This graph shows a steady increase in absenteeism that is coming alarmingly close to 100 per cent."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"Tell the vice presidents they've downsized enough."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is, none of us will be alive then.'

"That's a Hula Hoop. I asked you to find a loophole."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'What kind of a mission statement is that?'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"Nobody is to blame until we pick someone."

Although not felt by everone, Wanda's powrful jargon sent seismic shock waves through some of the more geologically unstable department in the organization.