Boardroom Battle Fan Gifts

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

'Dog eat dog.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson-of-the-board. One of you will be President.' (Men have fencing swords).

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

'This merger will cut jobs 40%, reduce salaries 30% and increase the work hours 25%. Your job is to make this look like the best thing that ever happened to our employees.'

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"I'm tired of being used as a scapegoat."

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

Executive puts on brave face for board meeting.

Election 2020

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Almost finished.'

Phil, I'm just too depleted to function. I need to take the afternoon off and recharge my batteries.

"John and Sidney work in human relations."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."