Blurry Vision Gifts

"Cruz takes the worst possible view of everything."

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Large print e-book.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

A question you don't want - "How many fingers am I holding up."

"Your main problem is that instead of a set of complex organs composed of specialized sensory cells and sophisticated nerve structures, you've got two pieces of coal."

"With the new year approaching, I was hoping you could help with my resolution...."

The Pessimetrist.

The seeing-eye cat.

'Make sure they fit straight!'

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

'Still getting the hang of laser surgery'

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

Contacts vs. Glasses

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

"Billy's cheating, Susan is lying, Dave, no, that's Gary, no, Bob. Bob's stealing?"

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

'Well, if a dog's going to beg, that's the way to do it.'

Olive that looks suspiciously like an eye!

"One time you blurred the line between fantasy and reality."

Don't worry, I'm not grazing, I'm looking for my contact lens!

"Rex, Rex, put your glasses on! Don't sniff that bottom, it's not another dog: it's a skunk!"

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

Closing Laugh Optician

Optometrist meeting agenda gets smaller on each line.

If you need glasses see an optician. Don't take ours!

Short sighted huntsman

"Okay, forget the second line. Can you read the first line?"

"Eagle Eye" Eddie would often ace his eye exams from the waiting room.

When seeing eye dogs go bad.

Optical illusions.

How are the lenses, can you see ok?

"If he finds his glasses, we're dead!"