Blood Pressure Warrior Gifts

"I'm going to take your blood pressure, so try to relax and not think about what a high reading might mean for your chances of living a long, healthy life."

Lumbar support animal

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"I told him he should have trained more."

Vaccine

Flu vaccine.

COVID Vaccine

AIDS prevention

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

Free radicals.

Drive Thru Flu Clinic

Dedicated to the heroes behind the heroes.

"Too hard?"

Your blood sugar is off the charts."

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

Good Cholesterol / Bad Cholesterol.

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

Clown with balloons to diabetic: 'Hey, could you take your shot over there?'

Stop Coronavirus

"...Under pressure?..gain instant relief with Doctor Bengts information overload adjuster...."

"I mixed antacid tablets into the meatloaf, so you won't get heartburn."

'I don't suppose it occured to you to simply agree to disagree?'

Pacemaker Payments.

'Oh, thank god, a hot tub... My back is literally killing me.'

Idiots!

'I hope that's olive oil. More healthy.'

"No thanks! My dad said those things will kill you!"

Complaints: 'Yes?'

Zombie diabetes sites: When those dead spots on our body consume insulin like the ravenous undead.

"I just gave you some water 20 minutes ago"