Blood Biter Aficionado Pillows

'Care to go out for a bite?'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Decapitated coffee.

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

Fake Counterfeit Money

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'What have you got?'

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'Actually, I was thinking more blood group than personality.'

Feeding The Lions At The Zoo

'Can he call you back? He's being read his Miranda rights!'

"I know exactly how you like your hair cut - it's here in your FBI file."