Blood Biter Aficionado Gifts

'Care to go out for a bite?'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

Decapitated coffee.

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

Hannibal "I turned down the part of one of his meals."

Fake Counterfeit Money

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"He was a top boy - he could light up a room just by setting fire to it."

Mr Potatohead in the witness protection program.

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'What have you got?'

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

Prisoner decorating his cell.

"Football and hunting - what more could you ask for?"

"They're telling us how many dollars they want. So far, it's up to 5,000!"

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

Alastair Cook

'Actually, I was thinking more blood group than personality.'

'Can he call you back? He's being read his Miranda rights!'

Feeding The Lions At The Zoo