Blissful Reflections Gifts

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

"You used to be that ambitious."

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'Don't worry too much about it dear, just say I do and we can get on with the honeymoon.'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Desk at the Horizon

Windchimes

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

'I'm at the age when everything Mother Nature gave Father Time is taking away...'

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

'Once they start to sag, then I'll have to learn professional, technical and networking skills.'

'It's quite common with men your age. You've got a silver duct tapeworm.'

"I don't feel ready to commit to a cacoon, either, but do you ever worry we'll wake up one day and be forty and still caterpillars?"