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"Hate? Crime? Violence? Never heard of it."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Anorak anoraks'.

'Be fair, George - how do you expect me to find your contact lens in this lot?'

'Going up?'

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

"How did I never notice before, Peter! Without your glasses you look just like Spider-Man!"

"Brian's in the kitchen doing some blind baking."

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

A Magic carpet for the Guide dogs.

Blind Cyclist

The seeing-eye cat.

Good cop, bad cop 2020.

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'

'Wow! He must really work out!'

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

Hold it! I dropped a contact lens.

Blind woman, blind dog, seeing eye cat.

'Mary, that better have been a contact lens you just dropped.'

Short sighted pirates being turned away from a Pilates class.

'I'd like to buy a vowel.'

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

"Have you seen my eyes?"

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'I wonder what kind of thriller I'll have written today...'

'Nobody move! I've lost a contact.'

It appears that the victim was a nerd

His guide-dog needed some more self-control

Mouse on A Stick...For a Cat on the Go

'Well, if a dog's going to beg, that's the way to do it.'

"Stop, don't move - I've dropped a contact lens"

'Please, Cap'n -- we'll never find your contact lens!'

Watering the flowers in the rain.