Blind Date Champ Gifts

Drawing the short straw.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Wow! This was sure one heck of a blind date!"

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"Your profile said you were a dog."

"A high forhead can often be a sign that they've stolen a really big brain."

'Look. . . for the last time, I'm not playin' 'footsie' with you!'

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"On the internet nobody knows you're a dog, but in person..."

"You're not at all like your answering machine."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"To be honest, I'm a little surprised the dating service matched us up."

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

"I've always been attracted to small architectural details."

Tunnel of lurve

"You know that on-line romance you've been carryin' on? Well this here's Samantha!"

"I guess I misunderstood when you said you were a 'fan dancer.'"

Gee, this is my lucky night. You see, when it comes to women, I'm not a leg man; I'm not a breast man; I'm a punctuation man. ! !

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

'You must be Olivia.'

Dan, Carla's interests include brooding over failed relationships and fending off her mother's pleas for grandchildren. Carla, Dan is terrified of commitment and has a negative bank balance."

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

Are you sure that's not your age?

"Online I said I was 'blond and curvy', I didn't say I was a woman!"

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"Ooh, this one sounds interesting, 'Single, vegetarian, bulbous, with moves like a lava lamp'."

Despite wanting to date a man who was 'young at heart', Beryl couldn't help but feel a little disappointed with her blind date.

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'Hey, what is this? You said tall, dark and handsome!'