Blended Families Pillows

"Don't think of me as your stepdad – think of me as the guy having sex with your mom."

"No, I don't think we all agree 'It's what Mom would have wanted.'"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

'Until I met your Mom, yes.'

'Yesterday her kids and my kids started beating up our kids.'

"If there are no objections..."

"You both agreeing to mediation is a good start. So, your master, Rex, and your mistress, Felix, have decided to get married."

"My parents have decided to homeschool me, but they haven't decided which home."

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

'Will you marry us?'

'Guess what, Mom - Suzie and I just found out that we have the same ex-Dad!'

'You know, I think I'm in the wrong nest.'

"Truth be told, you all have different daddies."

"My grandparents are from the old country. When they don't want me to know what they're saying, they speak in Latin."

"I'll clean my room when I want. I don't have to listen to you. You're just my step ladder."

'Shall we have a small family Alfred? - I've got 10 kids from my first marriage!'

"Good evening. I am Martha's son by a previous marriage."

"We need a bigger place for my kids and his kids and our kids."

'Just because your father and I have decided to get married doesn't mean we love you any less.'

"My kid form my first marriage? I thought he was YOUR kid from your first marriage."

"...failing is ok."

"I don't know who to choose to give me away - my biological father, my adoptive father, or my stepfather."

"What about instead of your stepdad, you just think of me as a 'gritty reboot'."

"As a blended family, we've learned to set limits. I limit myself to margaritas and he limits himself to mojitos."

'And do you, Randall, take Linda and her cat that doesn't like you?'

Multimarriages-phobia.

"I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was young."

"I don't like it either, but since your mistress and my master are moving in together, we'll just have to get along..."

"Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Kevin. I had a very nice time."

Second Wedding Cake

"And those, I believe, are my stepchildren."