Blemish Buster Gifts

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

'Will you stick to the script!!!'

'Maybe you shouldn't eat by your keyboard.'

"No Littering" sign in space.

The Lancet and Boils and Boilmen.

Horn of Plenty.

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

Urban spring.

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

"My art dealer assured me people will think it's worth a lot mo is."re than it

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

'I begged him to get a smart reader.'

"I like putting any all the holiday decorations....it makes the room seem twice as large."

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

Bad Scalp Day

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

I suggest you call technical support.

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

'Anything I can break has to go.'