Bleacher Watcher Gifts

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'Anderson! On this team we slap hands or slap fannies after someone scores a run. We do not slap faces.'

Watching the football.

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Fan-Centric Stadium

End of football season - UK

'...So what if all the other parents screamed at the umpire?...'

'Both benches have emptied, and now the brawl is spreading to the spectators!'

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'Time out!'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'My pitcher needs to get fired up by the home crowd. Pass the collection basket.'

Bad Knees.

Dugout sale!

How to show some hustle.

Stadium usher of the month.

"The World Cup starts in two days! I'm camping out for a good spot."

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

'Just made a pass. I'm running for the end zone.'

American Sports Idol.

Benchwarmer coach.

'What'd I miss?'

'Son, that was just a white lie to get you to come with me ... They don't really hand out 3-D glasses at the ballpark.'

Sawmill workers league

Warning: adopt players as role models at your own risk...

'What's the score?'

'Heads up!!'

'Bad hop! Walk it off, babe, walk it off.'

'We lost everything - hot dogs, popcorn, game programs, an order of nachos. Got out of our seats with just the clothes on our backs, but we're both OK, and that's what matters most.'