Blaming Others Gifts

'It's not my fault! My dad channel surfs constantly!'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'I'll try blaming it on auto correct and if that doesn't work, I'll blame you.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

'We're looking for someone who's very responsible. In fact, we're looking for someone who's always responsible.'

Take your time coming back...they're looking for scapegoats.

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"It's an even numbered day. Do we blame the message or the messenger on even numbered days?"

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"I'm not worried because somehow all this is your fault."

Management by committee: 'The buck stops here, here, here, here,,,'

Scapegoat: In case of emergency

'It was productive once we found someone to blame.'

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

'What excuse do you have for a lousy shot now?'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'Mom, I swear it wasn't me! I didn't touch the cookies!'

"Delegating authority is useful. Delegating blame is essential."

"I'm all out of answers! Get me my book of excuses!"

I blame society for putting me here. But mostly I blame metallurgy for keeping me here.

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I'm just suing you."

Robots programmed to mimic humans. Who's that? Oh, we just keep him around to blame things on.

"Being a twin is great. I always have a scapegoat."

'Don't even think about it: I won't be the scapegoat again!'

"Today, Trump blamed Obama, Syria blamed terrorists, Russia blamed US aggression, the US blamed Putin..."

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'