Black Tie Aficionado Gifts

"No Bellini for me. I'm being fueled by Xanax."

'Funeral Directors Annual Dinner: Black Tie'

'How about this for the masked ball?'

"1-1"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

A man looks up at the earth

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"Gift"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

Tie Rolls

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

'Johnny, personal feelings like loud neckties and long jokes; best left at home.'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

"Then it's agreed, my tie is prettier than Henderson's."

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

Tie-Land.

' This is our 'casual dress day'. For the rest of the week they make us wear tuxedos ! '

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

Friendly Tie

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

'Hornsby, you're fired. Incidentally, I like your tie.'

'Man in suit wears tie in shape of a pencil.'

"Hold on a minute, will you? I just want to see what color Charlie Rose's tie is tonight."

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

'I know we're not supposed to wear them, but I got it for Father's Day.'