Black Tie Aficionado Gifts

"No Bellini for me. I'm being fueled by Xanax."

'Funeral Directors Annual Dinner: Black Tie'

'How about this for the masked ball?'

"1-1"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

A man looks up at the earth

"The boss is charging. I knew you shouldn't have worn that red tie."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"Gift"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

A Meeting of Great Ties.

Tie Rolls

'You don't want the job, do you?'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

'Johnny, personal feelings like loud neckties and long jokes; best left at home.'

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

Future History Museums

' This is our 'casual dress day'. For the rest of the week they make us wear tuxedos ! '

Tie-Land.

"Then it's agreed, my tie is prettier than Henderson's."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

Friendly Tie

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

"Let's see a robot do that."

'Hornsby, you're fired. Incidentally, I like your tie.'

'I know we're not supposed to wear them, but I got it for Father's Day.'

Gigolo Diary